Why Can't I Get Sober on My Own?
Los Angeles, California—February, 2009
Even after all the destruction and wreckage that drug addiction has brought into your life you still think that you can control your drug use or worse yet, you still believe you are not an addict. That is the insanity of the disease of alcoholism. After all that you have been through, the misery, the self-loathing, the unmanageability of your life, you still think that you can clean up by yourself.
“If you could have gotten sober on your own, you would have done it by now,” says Larry Luttrell director of Liberty House, highly structured sober living home, located in Los Angeles, California.
“You may have lost your job or you’re family doesn’t want anything to do with you. Even after all that, you’re head is still telling you that you don’t have a problem, or you can control it if everything or everyone else would just fall into line, then your life would be ok. We get a lot of guys who have come into the house not because they wanted to but because they were placed here by their families or the courts. Many of these guys still think that there situation has nothing to do with their drug addiction. But what they learn in the house is that they didn’t get here by accident. After spending some time in the house, with the way our structure works, these same guys begin to see that their thinking was totally irrational and these same guys when given the chance to live in a sober environment begin to see that they can have a life without drugs and alcohol. They stay to complete the program not because they’re forced to but because they want to.”
One of the biggest stumbling blocks to a person addicted to drugs or alcohol is their thinking and unwillingness to take direction. “You can’t think your way through this problem, it’s going to take action.” Says Liberty House senior resident Nick J. with the big smile of someone who has learned this lesson well.
“When I was using I couldn’t understand why my thinking was off. I had this totally warped perception of who I was and the world around me. I didn’t realize until It was pointed out to me that my behavior and the thinking that lead up to that behavior was totally insane. That’s why the program at Liberty House works. The structure of the house is designed so an addict’s character defects are brought to the surface. To the newcomer, not doing a chore or doing a half assed job on something may not seem like a big deal but the truth is, this is exactly what this person has been doing his whole life as an addict. When it is pointed out to him by his peers and put under the microscope we can begin to deal with the reasons he does what he does. Only then can we start the process of changing the way the addict thinks.”
This is one of the main reasons why long term structured sober living is so vital to someone new in sobriety. The reason many addicts relapse after only a short time in a rehab is that they’ve never really addressed the way their thinking and behavior is off. They’re just detoxed and sent on their way back to their old lives For those people, just completing 30 days in a program will only scratch the surface, if at all, on that behavior that needs to be addressed.
If the rehab’s structure is mostly about “getting in touch with feelings,” then you can bet that the addict isn’t going to look at their behavior. As the saying goes, “nothing changes if nothing changes.” It’s impossible to change an addict’s thinking after only a couple of weeks in a detox or rehab, and it isn’t going to happen at all if the underlying beliefs and behavior isn’t addressed. “The alcoholic’s thinking process didn’t get to be that way overnight.” Says Luttrell. “It takes time and work for residents to change the way they have been thinking. “We can’t think our way into right living. We have to live our way into right thinking. "
This process takes time. This process requires hard work, commitment and many surrenders on the individuals part, all of which are necessary for long term sobriety. Residents graduating the program are changed individuals with new perspectives on life and the world around them. The graduates are now responsible, productive members of society and are ready to transition out of the house.
For more information visit our website at www.libertyhouse.org
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